Halloween 2011

This year for our Halloween party we were debating about what me and My Copper would be. For some reason he really wanted one of those fake tattoo shirts. So, first we were thinking bikers, but then he decided to do the convict route. Used a coupon for the tattoo shirt which brought the price to only about $13, orange convict outfit free, and doo rag for his head $1.86 at Walmart.

As for me I decided that I would be his lovely lunch lady, Myrtle. I already had the apron from last year and touched up with ketchup, mustard, and worcestershire, it worked. Made myself a nametag on the computer. Found my beautiful dress for $4.99 at the Salvation Army. Unfortunately, Goodwill only offered dresses that were too nice for the lunch lady. Got some reading glasses and a lovely holder at the dollar store. I just took out the lenses for the glasses. Oh, and I added some lovely earrings from Salvation Army as well. I had one of My Copper's socks up and one slouched down and a hairnet. Just add in some very blue eyeshadow, thick eyebrow pencil, and a homemade wart drawn with a brown pencil with a black hair coming out of it drawn with black eyeliner.

The funniest thing was I left for work dressed like this and My Copper said, "Ew, where did you get that hair?" When I came home he said, "That hair is still in the wart?" He thought I had somehow gotten an eyelash and glued it onto the wart.

Even funnier, I stopped at the grocery store in full costume. No one said a word to me about my costume. I purposely talked to people and not one said anything about my costume. I guess they thought I really was a lunch lady. Scary!

What's wrong with that?

After My Girl's hula class yesterday, she, My Little Guy, and I went to Noodles & Company for dinner. I ordered their mac & cheese and penne rosa, then I proceeded to order their sides of parmesan crusted chicken. When the cashier read the order back to me, I said, "Can you make sure the parmesan chicken is not on the same plate as the pasta and in two separate dishes?" She looked at me weird and I said, "They don't like their chicken touching their pasta."

She looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, really? Okay." Then, I thought to myself...wow, I am crazy. Why? Because My Little Guy does kind of care, but My Girl could care less. I am the one that can't stand it. My Copper thinks I am crazy, but let me explain my insanity.

Ever since I was a child, my family called me a meticulous eater. I did not like my food touching each other. For example, if we had chicken, rice, and green beans, I would have them all separated on my plate. If some of the liquid from the green beans started drifting over to the rice, I would gently push it back. My Copper thinks I am nuts, but my constantly working brain does not stop when the dinner plate appears. If the water from the green beans gets on my rice, it gets a texture I don't like.

Don't get me wrong, there are some things that I really like mixed together like beef stew over rice and chili over rice. But, there are many more things that I do not like touching. This is one of my quirks. I am sure that there is a phobia, ailment, or diagnosis for this. My biggest downer is when I get a salad, or soup, or pasta and they serve it with a roll, bread, garlic bread or whatever and they place it on top of the dish. In other words, my bread should not be touching the other stuff because it gets soggy. What is wrong with you people?

Well, so maybe I am a little bonkers. The worst part is...My Little Guy is worse than me and I indulge him. Every time we have something like pancakes, eggs, and bacon. He needs two forks; even at a restaurant. He won't use the same fork to eat his pancakes AND his eggs and bacon. If he only has one fork, he will get a napkin and wipe off the fork before switching. I know this and usually give him two forks so he doesn't have to keep wiping. Uh oh, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Maybe I should say,the nuts don't fall too far from the mama tree. Look out all you future single women that are now about 6 years old, he's going to be a real catch someday!

Nicknames

We were out the other night and a couple of friends asked me when I was going to post something here. I know I have been MIA on this blog for quite a while. Life gets in the way much too often. I told them that I need to think of something to write about and they both said, "Write about us." I proceeded to tell them that I needed pseudonyms or nicknames for them. Then the task of thinking of nicknames came into play.

It got me thinking. I remember when I was a kid I wanted a nickname mostly because I was watching Happy Days (you remember the Fonz, don't you?). There were the sisters Pinky and Leather Tuscadero. I loved their nicknames. Oh, but the dilemma of which one I wanted to be. Did I want to be the sexy, dressed in pink, love interest of Fonzie? Or, did I want to be the hard hitting, dressed in leather, Joan Jett-ish, rocker? The choices.

I already had a little cousin nicknamed Pinky. That wouldn't work. I didn't really want to be called Leather, so that wouldn't work either. Eventually, I got nothing. Well, eventually, I got something. It didn't stick, thank goodness, but someone we hung around with down at Manoa's gym and park gave me a nickname. Side note: we were what they called Gym Rats. In the summer, we were basically at the park/gym/fields/pool from 9AM-9PM on many days.

The nickname I was given was Ghost. Great. I didn't get something cool like Pinky, Leather, or T-bone (like George Costanza). Nope, I got Ghost. Why? Well, back in Hawaii, I was always very fair. I never tanned, no matter how hard I tried. I turned pink or red and then back to white with more freckles. Pretty cruel for a kid in Hawaii.

Ah, but what did my best friend get for a nickname? She got Ostrich. She was tall and whenever we played sports she would make this sound that someone apparently thought sounded like an ostrich. I'm not sure what an ostrich sounds like, but that's what my friend ended up with. So, Ghost and Ostrich went through life pale and squawking. Thank goodness the names didn't really stick, just for that particular summer.

So, back to the two friends from the other night. One had just been on vacation with another family. She said that everyone on vacation got nicknames. The other mom got Grilled Cheese. Why? Because while sitting on a picnic table on the beach, a local man went on and on about how hot she was, how he liked women with meat on them, and how her thighs could melt a grilled cheese sandwich between them. I guess Ghost wasn't too bad.

My friend, did not get a nickname. We decided that her nickname would be The Intimidator. That's right say it like Arnold. Speaking of Arnold, really, that housekeeper he knocked up, seriously? Not much to look at. Oops, off track again. The Intimidator is not a large woman, not overpowering, not a body builder, but she has confidence. Several people have commented that when they first met her, they thought she was very intimidating. I thought this was hilarious. She almost does the Shrek Puss in Boots kitty eyes and says, "I don't know why they think I'm intimidating." Here's why. She is confident and says what she thinks. She is straight up with people. Some find this intimidating. I find this awesome. I hate when people are not real and honest.

Now on to the other friend. Hmmm, we couldn't think of a nickname that night. So, let's see. She has a pug that sometimes pees all over her curtains. Well, I guess mostly the bottom of the curtains, he is a pug after all. She was a cop in a former life, she has confidence and a good heart, she has a good gay friend that likes to light his own farts, her husband has to travel a lot, but mostly she likes to bitch about the weather (too hot, too cold, too whatever). If Mother Nature ever came into human form, she would need to watch her back. She would seriously take her out.

I still can't think of a nickname. Oh, how about Fahrenheit? That might work. Gabriel Fahrenheit was a famous meteorologist (weather) and since it is the measure of temperature and her temperature can rise quickly over certain things, like crappy weather, etc. That could be it.

So, I dedicate this post to Ostrich, The Intimidator, and Fahrenheit.